Fear it. Really
El Chupacabra is one from the Hard Gore stable of films, and if this is 'gore' they must be reading a different dictionary to me. So where to begin with a movie thats dvd cover art is the best thing about it? Well actualy it starts with the cover because just above the title are the words "Starring Treach" as if announcing some major Hollywood A lister. Erm...excuse me? Treach? Who the frig is he/she?
The story is simple ~ an animal control officer and a scientist (dressed like a lap dancer complete with short skirt) are hunting the infamous chupacabra which has been bred by two guys for God only knows what reason and has escaped. (How hard is it to keep an overgrown gerbil locked up?) Suprisingly there is no sinister corporation behind them like there usually is in these films. Also on the trail are two 'bad ass' cops who aren't really bad ass in the slightest.
The film looks cheaper than a fake Christmas tree, something stoned students might film and the chupacabra looks like one of those 1980's toys, Boglins. The 'actors' would be better cast in adverts and even then I wouldn't buy the product they were selling. I don't think ive ever looked at my watch more during this fetid pile of garbage.
There were some LOLs however. The animal control officers van had 'Animal Regulation' stencilled on the side and was obviously pasted on by a three year old, and one of the corpses was still breathing as the idiot cops mulled over his body. How bad is a film when even the actors can't be bothered to hold their breath?
In another scene the chuccy is chasing the animal control dude and he gives it the slip by hiding in a car boot/trunk. This after we are told by the 'scientist' that the chupacabra has 'well developed and great senses'. Yeah right, whatever. And don't get me started on the guy who gets shot in the legs and carries on running away!?
This is a bad bad movie and makes me wonder if it might be the reason the chupacabra is so elusive. Afterall if somebody released a film this atrocious about me, id be in hiding too. AVOID!
Gutterbox Rating
