Machete Thrills...and Kills

Readers of my blogs will know that the original Machete blew my cotton Jagermeister socks (yes really) clean off. It was a violent, stylish and sexy romp, filled a good dosage of dark humour, something The Expendables should have been, a perfect homage to the action movies of the 1980s (which I am a huge fan of). In short, Machete, much like the guy who plays him, was/is ACE. Its up there with Cobra and Robocop (in my opinion) and all of the other gritty, gallows humour type shit and having just this minute finished watching Machete Kills I can happily report it is more of the same.
Oh f**king yes! Machete kills and kills and kills....then kills again, without mercy, without pretense at being a nice guy (yes he's a good guy but one who shuns dainty handshakes because he's Machete motherf**ka). If you are looking for a movie which takes outrageous weapons and action sequences to create a gore filled circus of death? Take Machete home tonight (but put away the Twitter because Machete don't Tweet).
Charlie Sheen is hilarious as the President ("I'm the f**king President of the United f**king States!") who tasks the badass Mexican to track down an arms dealer who is after launching a weapon into space. Mel Gibson is Daddy Baddie (my title not the films) this time around and wanna know something? He does a ruddy decent job of it too! Granted Steven Seagal had more menace in the original but Gibson's character, Voz, has a cooler, Bond type villain thing going on and even though I am not a fan of 007, something 'flicked my switch' here.
Speaking of Bond, Machete Kills has its fair share of beautiful women (I do NOT include Lady GaGa obviously) and director Robert Rodriguez is inspired in having them show off their delicious curves via strap-on groin pistols and armoured corsets that fire machine guns (a shout back to Planet Terrors machine gun legs). Hooker assassin babes, that is what we have here folks. Ace. Of course none of them hold a candle to sultry uber-babe Michelle Rodriguez, who even when rocking an eye patch manages to look f**k hot.
Machete Kills is great fun and easily a triumph in my eyes. It doesn't do anything different from Machete, like I said its purely more of the same but that's the point; Machete KILLS. Here we have a crazy, louder than hell action hero, offing an assortment of equally louder than hell, batshit mad villains. The movie isn't attempting a stab (no pun intended) at serious cinema, go watch Life Of Pi if you want that. Machete is what it is, a fist pumpin' joyride through over-the-top mayhem and one liners that can, if you let it, sweep you back to times of Commando and American Ninja.
And as for that finale? Machete 3 (come on, we all know it'll happen!) looks like it will take organ yanking to a whole new level. Quite literally!

Gutterbox rating

Broads Beneath the Light II

Retro Princess: Suzanne Snyder

I ♥ the 80's. The videogames, movies, metal music. It felt like we were at the dawn of a new age, and of course we were, just think about all the classic stuff this decade gave us. Pac Man, Rambo and Metallica all belong in this era, along with a treasure trove of other cool stuff.
The eighties also brought the beautiful Suzanne Snyder (above) to the silver screen, most famously in Weird Science (1985) and the totally cool B movie Killer Klowns from Outer Space (1988). My heart reached a few new gears, when my teenage eyeballs saw her play the two Debs in those two films.
Ms Snyder is the entire package for me. A typical American Beauty, Miss Heartbreak '85. She hits all the right notes and could make chalk on a blackboard sound good. Cute, pretty, sweet, gorgeous; the leading light in a cave of otherwise horse faced Sarah Jessica Parker lookalikes. (Or should that be stable?)
Gutterbox f**king ♥ Suzanne Snyder. If I still owned a pencil case I would stencil "Gutterbox F**king ♥ Suzanne Snyder" all over it. Funnily enough those two movies are the only things I have ever seen her in. I know she has appeared in other films and shows but ive missed them. Perhaps its better this way because time might not have been kind to her. But I can't imagine that, not when I gaze into the photo above like a frothy schoolkid home alone with his first smutty magazine.

Broads Beneath the Light

Sizzle sizzle!

Inbetween checking out cult movies (and the plain old bad of course), Gutterbox will be tipping its glass to some of the sexiest women that have appeared in movies of 'ye olde'. But rather than follow the oft trodden path of the Winona Ryders and Molly Ringwolds, this site will feature the lesser known beauties. Like the gorgeous Joy Boushel (above) for instance.
When I first saw her being picked up in a bar by a rubbery looking Jeff Goldblum in The Fly (1986), I was smitten. Lust at first sight, and way way hotter than Geena Davis. Look at that photo up there. Look how seductive she looks, with drag-me-to-bed eyes and legs akimbo just waiting for your face to kiss the sunset that is her toned, sweaty stomach. Joy Boushel in this film is pure sex kitten.
Sadly she didnt hang around the acting lark for long and after roles in Look Who's Talking, Humongous (below) and Terror Train (among a few others) she went off radar for good.


Joy indeed!